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I had envisioned all my life about how the birth of my children would be. The doctor would hand me my baby, my husband who had been dabbing the sweat off of my forehead, rubbing my feet and holding my hand during the delivery would kiss me on the crown of my head as we both stared in awe at our child. It was something you'd probably see in a Hallmark commercial or an episode of Seventh Heaven. My deliveries were more like something you'd see on E.R.! When my son was born they had to take him a month early because my body was shutting down. As soon as we arrived at the hospital, they sent me to a room and checked me in there. I was surrounded by doctors and nurses, quizzing me and prepping me for an emergency C-section. They were so worried about losing me they used general anesthetic, and my husband wasn't allowed to come into the delivery room. A team of doctors and nurses ran (yes literally ran) my bed down to the operating room. I could almost hear the E.R. music as my husband let go of my hand and I was wheeled into the operating area. There was a brief snag in the music when they all stopped because my catheter had caught on the door. True fact. They took my son a month early, and he stayed in the hospital for ten days. I was released about three days and a few blood transfusions later. I was reassured by several medical professionals that this sort of thing really only happened with first pregnancies.

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter we were really happy. And my husband was a tad nervous. My doctor was cautious. I ended up on bed rest three months before my due date. I went stir crazy. I LOVED doing the stress tests at the hospital because I was able to leave my house. I was only allowed to get up to shower once a day (with a five minute time limit) and to use the bathroom. I saved my shower until noon because it was the highlight of my day.

My deliveries are on my mind because ten years ago this week my little girl was born over two months early. I had HELLP syndrome--a severe type of toxemia--so they had to take her early. So early I hadn't had time to properly prep for the delivery. I remember wanting to die of shame because I hadn't shaved my legs for over a month because of my short showers. The doctors were fighting to save my life so I doubt they noticed but oh man was I aware. She was born weighing three pounds, eight ounces, and was in the N-ICU for over a month. I was a lot worse off this time and didn't improve for over a week. She lost weight but finally started to regain it. Every year I am amazed at how how much she has grown! I am so grateful for the wonderful doctors who took care of not only her but me. She may have been tiny (She still is for her age) but she has been a huge blessing for my family. Oh and in case you're wondering, we decided that two was the perfect amount of children. Our mind was firmly made up when found out a lady had died the next city over from HELLP about a week after my experience. I feel very blessed!!